Should men receive BJs for doing the housework?

Masculinity, Relationships

Katy Perry has revealed how much she values a bit of sharing of the domestic load by her husband Orlando Bloom.

Talking to Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast, Perry revealed:

“One of my love languages is acts of service. So if I come downstairs and the kitchen is clean and you’ve done all the dishes and you’ve closed all the pantry doors, you better be ready to get your dick sucked. That’s my love language! I don’t need a red Ferrari, just do the fucking dishes! I will suck your dick! It’s that easy!”

Now, it feels within here that there is a valuable piece of learning for us men. Hmm.

Ah, yes: I think it may be that women like it when we help out at home.

Like, really like it.

I don’t know about any other man, but when I heard this from Perry, I went home and scrubbed the hell out of my kitchen, and every other room for that matter, and stood there waiting expectantly when my partner came back.

“Oh this, yeah, just thought I’d just give it the once over…so, ahem…”

I’m joking of course. Honestly.

To expect sexual favours in exchange for doing the housework would be to indulge in retrogressive gender norms – “Well, if I’m helping out your area, what’s in it for me, love?” – which would be a reductive response to Perry’s clearly tongue-in-cheek words. I know that.

And yet, I couldn’t help but think, I bet there’s truth in what she’s saying – lucky old Orlando Bloom – and, more to the point, what a great way to frame this.

Sex, humour, competition, therapy, shouting, when we’re trying to wrestle with gender norms, there’s all kinds of routes into redrawing the lines.

Perry’s main point, of course, was about how it talked her “love language” – what picking up his share of the chores says about the consideration and respect and character of a man. And how there’s a sexiness to that.

You can take her words as offensive to men and the work they do at home, if you like, but statistically speaking women do more of the housework and childcare than men – as well as deal with more of the mental load.

Someone as rich as Katy Perry may well have an army of cleaners to plump up the bubble of their domestic bliess, but the point remains: it’s damn great when men chip in.

You can also take it as offensive to women – that they shouldn’t have to ‘reward’ men sexually for doing their fair share at home. But again, isn’t this a fun, positive way to bring up the imbalance here? Not a ticking off, but encouragement in the most cheeky of ways.

Look, this is not a call for a new male movement called ‘Cleaning 4 BJs’.

Nor is it holding up Perry and Bloom as some couple ideal for the ages.

But it’s a brilliant point about domestic life that is very useful for men to know.

Don’t expect sexytimes if you clean up, but showing you care in this manner will definitely at least bring you a nod of appreciation.